Does it ever seem like you’re so lost in the entanglement of certain relationships that it’s hard to see the forest for the trees? There’s so much history, so many triggers, you’re emotions are so all consuming that you can’t see straight.
I know. You feel lost in it all.
Where do you even begin? Well, one tree at a time, so to say. You start to study one aspect of yourself within this relationship at a time. You study it from all angles. You look at it top to bottom. Below the surface even.
Family, work situations, co-parents. These people are our greatest spiritual teachers. Believe me, there are many relationships I’ve wanted to escape, as I’m sure you have. It’s human nature to want to get out of uncomfortable situations, but there’s much to be learned from sticking it out. I promise I speak from experience.
So you have the opportunity to use it as a way to study your Self. You shift the focus from ‘what they’re doing to me’ to: ‘What’s this bringing up for me? How am I getting caught in old patterns? And can I respond differently?” Pondering questions like this help you to see where your power lies and what you are able to change.
In yoga we talk about witness consciousness. We step back and observe what’s happening without judgement, like a scientist observing nature–curious to see how this relates to that, what helps things to grow and what makes them wither. When we’re able to observe with a more neutral mind we can see the bigger picture. We can see more clearly without emotions blurring our vision and we can stay in our still center to come to new understandings.This is a life long endeavor, of course. Like a dense forest there are a lot of aspects to study and new ones sprouting up all the time. Don’t expect to figure it all out overnight. That’s not even the point.
The point is to engage. The point is to explore new ways of relating and being. It’s a chance to grow from a seedling to a strong rooted, wise old tree.
(Of course some relationships are meant to be left. It takes discernment to know the difference between such a toxic, abusive situation that you MUST leave and one in which you want to leave because it’s easier.)